Upside down

What have I done today? I told Aunt Joe that he doesn’t like me to make new friends and going out with my new friends. She ask me, “are you not happy being with him” and I say, “I’m not not happy being with him” and she stated a statement of such, “.. is a fool to care for you”. I’m so surprised. Why? o.0 She misunderstand my answers? She answered me no, but why is she giving me such a statement?

I am just sharing my thoughts with her, I do not hide anything or keep some of the things to myself. Am I being too honest? I felt that she thinks that I do not appreciate him, his care, his love. What!! It’s not like what she’s thinking. Though I doubt my feelings for him recently, but after much thoughts I’d finally realized and confirmed what I want and how I feel. My feelings for him are still there. Just that I didn’t think much about it. It’s more like leaving it aside or hid it somewhere unknown. It’s probably due to too many disappointment and insecurity in the past. But since after I saw how he reacts recently, I felt that he still cares after all. It means that I did not make a wrong choice to hold on to this relationship (so much for being stubborn >.<).

It’s not that I’m not happy being with you. Maybe we spend too much time doing the same thing and things go in just a straight line. Honestly, I’m not bored with you. I’m a person who counts value not in terms of $, how could I be bored then? But I want to bring in more excitement to our relationship. As we are still 24, I want to do more things, experience more things with you. But you’re not the type who would do that. For instance, simple task like jogging, I know that you’re not into it, so I decided to go by myself, but you state that your mom will nag at you. So does it mean that I shouldn’t go as well? I do not demand that you need to do things with me. For me, it’s just a small matter. What bout regarding shopping? Sometimes there are things that I want to buy, or places that I want to go. I do not mind to go alone in fact. What’s the problem with it actually? What about me making friends?

You said that I’d changed. Yea, I agree. I’m putting more things into my priority list. And I’m making new friends, I value friendship more now but I did not put us aside. Do keep in mind, I love you stil~

P/s: Lucky that things didn’t develop any further between…. If not, things would be much more complicated. But at least whatever happens wakes me up and makes me think of what I want to find in life. It makes life more meaningful. Thank you, thank you Vic! Hope you’re doing well and happy with your life now. God bless.