Things changed

Mixture of feelings showed during the weekend.

It is Saturday. After work, I waited for his car, as I make my way into the car, he didn’t smile. The situation is very cold till we reached Mid Valley. We talked very little. Seems like an argument is going to occur. No idea what happen, I just felt as if I’d done something wrong, something bad. If not, what might have caused him to be in such mood? I kept asking him what happen and I’d no idea how his mom heard about me complaining about his precious son. Darn, I only shared my thoughts with his sis and his aunt. Who else might have told her? And I want to clarify here, I am not complaining. I am just asking for opinions, advice. I’m just sharing my thoughts to someone that I trust. Can’t be trusted anymore? I felt betrayed. Sigh.

In fact, I asked him, are we having problems? I thought that everything is such a small thing. I thought that everything is just about me doubting my feelings and all that I need is just to find back the feelings that went missing. But I see more things now. We are lack of communication. We felt so different. I felt so awkward going out with him today. I’d no idea how come lately I can’t control my temper. I will just say everything that’s on my mind without much thinking. I better change that bad attitude. I tend to offend people a lot.

He says that I shouldn’t complain to others about my relationship problems as they will tell his mom. In fact, his mom say that “this is the bf that u chose.” Sigh. I feel quite tense to talk to people who don’t understand what I really want to say. I admit that I might make people misunderstand, but please do not make a statement or tambah garam to things that you THINK it is true.

Well, we finally talk things out. The situation changed. it felt so much sweeter now. It brings back a lot of the past memories when we were going out together :) . And I realise that my feelings for the previous one was i like him very much, it's different in compared to my bf. But to go on with my current relationship, it needs a lot of effort. :’( I want to keep it, but I’m very tired. Furthermore, he met with his ex and he say that he still have the feeling of hate to see her. What is that suppose to mean?

He even locks himself at home to avoid me “thinking nonsense.” But we already discuss about this topic and I told you that I did not restrict him from going out with them and I just don’t want further misunderstand to happen. But why is he giving me this explanation that I would think nonsense if he would to go out with them? Aih… I know I'm not a good gf, I do not play my role well. I feel that I'm undergoing hard times where people think negatively about me. Sad~