Moments that can only be cherish in words

It's 8.30am when I reach the office. It seems early to me, usually I would check on my phone for sms and would call you and we would talk on the phone. Things weren’t as before and I still like to keep these moments with me, moments that I would never want to forget.

It's the 23rd of Jan and I just reached Penang. We decided to meet that very night. I felt very excited as it's going to be our first meeting. You picked me up from home. I speed up my steps as I walk towards your car in the opposite road. My hearts thumping as I make myself comfortable with my seats in your car, Wira. I looked at you, smile and giggles as we are heading to Queensbay. I still couldn't believe my eyes as this is the guy I'm talking to all these while. Things didn’t go smoothly as we dine in at Coffee Bean. We are having communication breakdown and argument is on the rise. It's quite bad for a first time meeting.

The following day we meet up again. We are going to Gurney for Sakae for our first meal. Before that, we find a place and talked about us. You felt that I wasn't as sweet as you think I am in comparison to the time before we met. (Disappointment?). On the way home, you asked me to make a big decision. I never thought that the decision can change so many things. We finally agree that we shouldn't be together. You gave a day for us to try as couple and my feelings for you are still not determined. Time pass quite fast and it's time for us to depart. I felt so hard to let go thinking about what had happen as I sat on my bed. The feelings for you seem so strong. It's not as simple as I thought. It's something more that I would felt for a friend. I asked myself several times as tears rolling down my cheeks, was it love?

I'm having a hard time as the days seems like years to me. I felt very moody, can't sleep properly and have little appetite for food. I still remember you asking me whether to accept another girl that shows you sign that she likes you as we can't be together when I'm attached to my bf. You did not entertain my sms much as you said that you'd given me a day to show my real feelings for you and I didn't. (Is there any time limit if you're showing love for someone?).

We didn't contact much as your friend is coming over from KL and staying at your place. I still feel that things happen too fast. One moment you're so sweet and the next you're ignoring me to the max. Sweet things still runs through my mind, I felt so loved whenever you pat and runs your finger through my hair. (Heart melts). It wasn't long when I saw your facebook stated that you are in a relationship with another girl. I'm quite shocked, the world whole become so blank suddenly. I knew somehow we have to talk about this issue and so I waited from Sunday till Tuesday.

I'm still quite emotional and everyday I would date different guys out just to fill up my time. I wouldn't choose to be at home and keep thinking about you. Few days passed and my emo is getting more stable.

Finally Tuesday reached and I suggested that we went Queensbay Chopper Board for dinner. I'd made up my mind that there wasn't any slight chance left that we might be together as both of us are attached now and we can't click to each other quite well. But I still have words that I kept so long in my heart, all those questions that I seek for answers from you. My heart felt so light after that, it's like plucking out all the thorns from my heart though the pain is still there. The time where we stand at the Centre Court talking is the sweetest moments for me. As you placed your arms over my shoulder, I could only see you in my world. I lay down on your shoulder and I felt so xing fu. How I wish the time would stop. You move your other arms and hugged me from the back and we hug so much. (Heart melts again =.="). Aih, it's time to go home and I request that we took pictures together as remembrance. We were in the car and I look at you, into your eyes. You move closely to me and oops, we kissed - again. (Am I dreaming?) I felt this is a sign of a new love, a new relationship.

We meet up again at school. We went for school food and visited few teachers. We decided to rest at the pavilion and chit chat for a while as it's going to be the last time that we will meet this holiday as I'm leaving for KL at 1.30pm on that day. We'd both agreed that we should set a limit to the things we do in future. You sang our song - Shou Hao De Xing Fu Ne, as I lay my head on your shoulder. Before we left, we French kiss - again? (o.0). I didn't stop as I know it’s going to be the very last time you show your feelings for me. My heart felt so heavy as you drop me back.

Good bye my dear, my bi, my kai xing guo. May you be well, be happy and bless with love in your relationship. Hope that as time goes by, we can be friends again since you need time to get over our issue. Meanwhile I can only log on into your facebook and blogs to update myself with your info. I still have strong affection for you. We might not be lovers, but you will always be someone that I care and love very very much. Muaks and Hugs~